Archive for the ‘Stepping Stones’ Category

I made a wish this morning for balance for my kiddos. Pissed off about this morning, it was Monday I climbed back into wheel. Monday’s I alway feel like a hamster. Greeted by the most ungodly looking hairball I have ever seen. Syd nor Lola, neither one had enough class to be embarrassed, I thought I raised them better! For a second I thought one had lost a vital organ ~ ugly! Baby slept in as a result of L.H.’s Day.  My co~pilot was late, he’s always slow out of the shoot on Monday’s as his liver doubles in weight and Barley & Hops are notorious for sleeping in.  I was also stunned by the first news I saw this morning.  The Church Killing.

No, I am not religious.  And I don’t make it a practice to talk about religion or politics… but even a person of no faith can appropriately make comment on a tragic incident.  My heart went out to the people who were part of this.  Quite frankly I feel it made an impact on everyone’s lives, people were murdered.  They were murdered by a man who turned his love for a beer can into a career, our government supported this habit and allowed him the luxury of not jumping into the wheel, or forcing him to walk the path for survival.  When the system that supported him saw he was either unwilling or incapable of conforming they turned their back to him.  They had time to regulate his net worth and calculate the amount of cash and food stamps he was given each month.  The system also had time to evaluate and determine his benefits needed reduced, but they were much to busy to get this man help the desperately needed.    Unable to put the beer can down long enough to support himself, support others and become a productive citizen this man took offense to a church reaching out to parts of the community he felt it shouldn’t.  How he justified it was ok for him to survive with the help of others, but that courtesy could not be extended to people he didn’t personally approve of I guess was the booze. The outcome though is people were murdered, and the survivors are scarred for life because he drank beer after beer that the system purchased for him and planned a mass murder.  Off to Sunday Service he went to complete his mission.  Sick & heartbreaking.

This morning was especially difficult.  Tragedy like that sits with me.  Loss of life is not something I easily process and toss aside as I continue with my day.  I lost our 3rd child at birth and while I believe everyone is touched by a loss whether they realize it or not, those who have lost a child are touched on a deeper level.

We did finally get on the road, made it to the office and went through the motions.  I realized when it was time to pack up and head home I had no idea what we were having for dinner.  I also knew I had some redding up to do in the kitchen as my disposal quit working last night.  After a momentary lapse of guilt, I realized I’m not SuperWoman ~ I was ok with Pizza or Chinese ~ on paper plates to boot.  Call me mother of the year.

Pulled in the drive and felt the thumping… the stereo was on.  I also was pretty damn sure it was past the 1/4 mark as I could feel the vibration from the vehicle and that’s a No~No.  Grabbed my laptop case, small child, small child’s shoes, a couple folders that contained some work for the evening and made way to the house.  We had to stop and look for a worm.  We found this little guy last night on our return from the party.  His name was Simon the Wormon.  My boys always called a worm/nightcrawler a wormin.  So the baby has continued with this, but she likes to name her animal friends.  This joker was named Simon.  And Simon was MIA.  Time had to be taken to explain Simon was having dinner and maybe even dancing and I needed to get in that house and get that music turned down so we could have ours. The neighbors I am sure had had enough.  Opened the door, set and ready to go off… I instantly saw bodies and noticed the Wii was downstairs on the big  tv… another No~No.  The boys instantly turned everything down and my hearing came back almost instantly.  They got up, freed my arms, one went out behind me and went to get the baby.  She convinced him to help her look for Simon, just one more time.  I looked around and saw a freshly vacuumed downstairs (they even kept the lines nice,  just how I like them) tables polished up, toy room organized properly with everything matched up and my kitchen was clean, with apologies for not being able to fix the disposal ~ I almost  cried.  “Sorry about  the music Mom, we were watching the clock but you’re a little bit early.  We’ve ordered pizza, wanna play the Wii?

Yep, I wanted to play Wii & the stereo found it’s way back on.  We all played, even the baby, but she mostly danced and colored.  Tonight we had some balance.  It was very cool.

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I didn’t even play a game of poker online if I knew the symbol for the shocked smiley I would have inserted it here~ the boys asked if I was ill 😉 Friday night ~ they always host a huge poker tournie in their “ManCave”; easily 20 kids from the neighborhood play. When they get themselves settled, chinese or pizza delivered and into their game I quickly hop online to find one for myself. Been a habit for the past couple years. I am a die hard card player, came by it honestly through genetics. Last night I never even thought of poker < insert shock smilie here> .

These blogs are addicting. I hadn’t read a blog that I was aware of prior to starting mine ~ I just jumped in. Last night though I started noodling around and found some excellent reading. There were a couple times I laughed out loud. Hysterical stuff out there. Excellent stories to be read and also reassurance that there are indeed folks living an insanely chaotic life. Sometimes a person needs to know they aren’t the only one. The chaos and life stories fascinate me.

Just in the small little tour I took last night ~ the writing styles are very fun to dissect and very Lucid. It’s fun to see who is speaking from life experience and find those who think they have buffaloed the reader into believing they are speaking of life experiences ~ I now refer to those types of blogs as a Seinfelder.

I am hoping my appreciation for the Seinfelder will grow. I didn’t come into the world loving Jack Daniels I developed a taste for it, right after it hit my lips, love at first gulp ;). While I am sure that isn’t the case with the Seinfelder, I do hope I find an appreciation for that type of blog. I am willing to bet there is something fascinating in each one if a person looks hard enough. Right now though because there are so many I haven’t seen if I feel a person is blowing smoke up my ass I move on.

I haven’t found one that I have thought, Hang it up Bud, log off, the internet is not your friend. Which that surprised me as well. I read quite a few & you would think out of X amount there would be at least one that had no business being there. Not the case. At this point the Seinfelder is the major offender.

Very enjoyable & I can see how a person gets totally sucked into this. Today we went to the grocery, the Farmer’s Market, Target & the fish store. This fish store as a result of a blog a found last night. It’s amazing now that I am paying attention how many random events in a person’s day would make for a blog entry. Mind boggling and unfortunate that most would fall into the Rant category. People can sure be ignorant out and about on a beautiful Saturday. I bit my tongue several times. Try to keep my cool when traveling with the kids, I had my oldest with me & at the grocery store we danced through the isles with a Mother and Daughter ~ and the daughter wanted to date my Son, a he her (almost sounds like I am part donkey he her, HeeHaw) but they live a considerable distance and in High School that means a little something. Well at $4.00 plus a gallon now it means something for everyone unfortunately. Anyways I didn’t want to be going off in the middle of Big Bird (Giant Eagle, a local food chain for us) my son’s cheeks were already flush ~ I couldn’t set him ablaze in the middle of the dairy department. Had that Girl and her Mother not been there, it most likely would have been all over & one hell of a Blog Entry.

I don’t have much now, but I can assure you ~ you won’t find a Seinfelder here. That’s just not my style. And unfortunately my life isn’t one that would force me to have make a Seinfelder entry ~ I couldn’t get that lucky. Driving home we were talking in the car, I was also pondering in my head and I do hope that this blog doesn’t change how I am interact in the real world. Today I found myself thinking every time something idiotic happened about the blog. Where as when I was out there before the blog never entered the equation there was no blog.

I just realized its now Saturday evening and I don’t have any poker software running. Am I am off to see whose life I can get into from the recent tags and also find out exactly what I want to do with the CSS so I can move in completely. Have a great Saturday Night All, my seat is open at the poker table.

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The Cloak of Dignity Opens

Not even close to the name I was looking for. It’s ugly, but effective and I can live with that for now. Forever it seems everyone is talking about blogging & I really had no idea what the draw was. Got the bug yesterday to look into blogging a little more seriously. I have been fascinated with it to this point, reading little tidbits, but never dove into it. Finally decided to dip my toes in.

My whole adult life, as things would happen, people would always look at me with that certain look and say, “You have a book in you”. I am sure many of you can identify with the certain look I am speaking about and for those of you who can, you also know the exact sound of the voice that accompanies it. Now, long time friends who have rode with you through life usually chuckle and say there’s a new chapter and try to come up with a catchy name for it, that takes the sting out of the root of the discussion. People who aren’t as close to you as those who name the new chapter are the ones whose voice you can monitor (there is so much to be learned as you get in tune with that, but more on that at another time). These are people who know you, but don’t know you. Closer than the casual acquaintance, possibly a co-worker or friend that you have that you noodle around with, but someone you keep a wee bit of distance with because at the end of the day people who live a certain type of life have to keep it guarded in order to maintain a bit of cloaked dignity. As you share more of your Lucid Karma with these closer than a casual acquaintances they become more comfortable in not trying to disguise their curiosity or their being thankful their lives seem a bit hum~drum. Little do these people know they could eventually be held to task and take on an important role, naming the next chapter.

With that being said I am now officially on my way. I am looking forward to getting my feet wet and also looking forward to sharing Lucid Karma moments both current events and chapters from the past. Certain chapters never seem to complete themselves & a new chapter can begin at any moment.

This itself I guess is a new chapter as the cloak of dignity opens.

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